Rash Decisions and Mistakes
by rhythm of life
Summary: When Edward left Bella one hundred years ago, consequences that neither of them had dreamed of began to unfold. Now left in the wake of a werewolf massacre that seems to have been all Bella's fault, can Edward piece together the broken parts of her heart?
1. Delicious Blood

**Summary: On the same day Edward leaves, a vampire bites Bella and she continues to live in his coven. One hundred years later, the coven decides to move back to Forks and are surprised to find some "old friends", the Cullens, there as well. Will Edward and Bella get back together after all that time? R&R!!!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or the Twilight series. (Although I totally wish I did!)

Tomas's POV:

My mind was far from the thought of human blood when I smelled it. The most delicious smelling thing that I had the pleasure of experiencing. Even if I had tried, I couldn't resist the urge to go follow the scent. I finally saw what the source of my temptation was. Stumbling through the woods was a girl, a human girl, of about eighteen years of age.

I frowned and stepped back instinctively. I had trained myself for years to only drink from animal blood. I could never forgive myself if I killed her, an innocent human whose only crime was to tempt me with her delicious scent. But how could I resist? I was thirsty, very, very thirsty, and she was the only appetizing thing that I stumbled on in this entire god-forsaken place.

I sighed, and followed her. Surely I was allowed one human every once in a while. Finally she tripped and didn't get up. I crept silently near her and placed my mouth above her neck where the most delicious fragrance was rising into the air, polluting it with its sheer glory.

"Just do it," she mumbled. I sprang back in surprise.

"Please, just kill me now," she said. Shaking, I walked silently back to the girl. I rolled her over onto her back and looked into her eyes. I was astonished at the amount of pain and agony I saw there.

"Please," she whimpered, her whole body trembling. I nodded and positioned my mouth above her neck once again. With venom practically dripping from my mouth, I sunk my teeth into her warm flesh and drank. The pleasure was overwhelming. Never had I experienced this feeling when feeding off of humans.

"Edward," the girl mumbled. Her words snapped me out of my daze. How could I do this to an innocent human? She had family and friends and a life, and I was taking that all away from her because of my own selfish desires. I pulled away quickly, then realized what I had done.

Now, because of me, this girl was destined to become a vampire. She couldn't see her family or her friends or family again anyway, despite my good intentions. Not now. Not ever. And it was all my fault.

"No!" she yelled franticly, writhing in the pain. "No! Please, no! Just kill me! I can't live for eternity like this!"

I was both saddened and puzzled at her words. How did she know that she was going to live for eternity?

I picked her up, and started to run. The house was only about three hours away if I ran very quickly. I ran faster in those three hours than I had in my entire five hundred years of existence as a vampire.

"Tomas!" my wife, Elizabeth yelled out joyfully. I could tell that she was surprised that I had come home so quickly after our fight. Never had I come back in less than twenty-four hours.

Elizabeth ran to me, prepared to leap into my arms until she saw the girl that I was holding with the utmost care.

"What in the world did you do?" she asked, her topaz eyes wide. She stared into my eyes and gasped in shock as she saw the blood-red streaks of color, tainting the gold of my eyes.

"You bit her!" she yelled, backing away from me. "How could you? She's not even close to death!"

"Elizabeth, honey, I can explain," I said quickly. Elizabeth glared at me.

"Bring her inside," she said coldly. Then she turned around and ran back to the house. I sighed and followed.

I gently set the girl down on the couch, watched by the anxious eyes of my "daughter" and "son".

"Who is she?" Annabel, my adoptive daughter asked, eyes wide.

"Yes, Tomas, who is she?" Elizabeth asked, her hands on her hips.

"I-I don't know," I said, hanging my head sadly. Annabel walked over and patted my back.

"Isabella," the girl choked out. All eyes turned to her. "My name's Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella." She gasped in pain, and let out a terrible scream, and then fell silent.

"So, Tomas, do you want to tell us all how you "saved" this girl?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, you see," I started nervously, "while I was running through the woods near Forks, you know, that small town near La Push where all the werewolves live-"

"We know where Forks is," my wife said coldly.

"What happened, Dad?" Ethan, my adoptive son asked, frowning slightly, and looking over at Isabella, or Bella I should say.

"Anyway, I was running through the woods, and as you know I hadn't fed for awhile, so I was very thirsty. All of a sudden, I smelled Bella's scent, and never before in my existence had I smelled such a wonderful scent as Bella's, so I followed her."

"Surely you could have resisted," Elizabeth interrupted.

"I'm sure I could have, but do you remember the policeman that smelled so wonderful to you that you couldn't bear to let him go past you without drinking his delicious blood?" I asked gently. Elizabeth hung her head in shame. I took my hand and placed it under her chin, and raised her head up so she could look into my eyes.

"It was exactly like that," I said quietly. She nodded in understanding.

"Anyway," I said, continuing, "Bella finally tripped and just laid on the ground, so I crept up silently behind her and was about to drink her blood when she said, 'Just do it. Kill me now.' I was so surprised that I leaped away from her. After I recovered from the shock, I positioned myself once again over her neck to drink her blood, but before I did, I looked into her eyes and saw immense pain and suffering. So I drank some of her blood before I realized that what I was doing was entirely wrong. So I stopped, and pulled away, then I realized what I had done, and brought her back here, and now here we are."

"I wonder why she was suffering," Annabel said sadly. I put my arm around her shoulders.

"Perhaps now the pain will go away," I said gently, smiling a little at my gentle little Annabel.

I gazed at Bella sadly. She was only about eighteen. She still had so much life to live.

The next three days were tense. Elizabeth had forgiven me and spent much of her time by Bella's side as I did. Annabel and Ethan were by her side as well as soon as they got back from their school.

Finally, she screamed one last time, and opened her eyes.

"Where am I?"

**Author's Note: Ah yes, don't we all love a good Bella-gets-turned-then-meets-Edward-years-later story? I know it's not exactly an original idea, I hope you read it anyway! I'm sorry if some things are confusing. Even though I've already got the next few chapters written, I would be happy to edit them to explain better. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you stick around until the end of the story! And it would mean the world to me if you reviewed!**


	2. Alice's Vision

Disclaimer: I totally wish I owned Twilight, but since this is reality and not dream-world, I must face the facts and say that I don't own Twilight.

Alice's POV:

I was standing in grass, looking at a stone with words engraved in it.

_Isabella Swan, beloved daughter _the words said. The dates on the stone said Bella's birthday, and the day Edward said he was going to leave her. Then I saw Charlie and Renée tears running down both of their faces standing next to the stone, and a pile of dirt. Then I realized where I was.

"No!" I shouted, sobbing dry sobs.

"Alice!" a voice said, pulling me out of my vision.

"Bella's dead!" I sobbed. Jasper pulled me into his arms and calmed me using his power.

"Come on," Jasper said after a few minutes of letting myself just sob. "We have to go to Carlisle."

We found Carlisle in his office.

"Alice, Jasper, what's wrong?" he asked, seeing how upset I was.

"Bella's dead!" I yelled, sobbing. Carlisle's eyes widened in shock.

"We need you to destroy all of Edward's passports," Jasper said.

"Of course," Carlisle said grimly. "He doesn't know."

"No," I said. "I only just had the vision. It was horrible!"

"Everyone will be devastated," Carlisle said sadly. "I don't know how we will tell the rest of the family."

As the rest of what remained of our family filed into the living room, I was still in a state of shock. I couldn't believe that my best friend and sister was gone forever. It just didn't really make any sense that she should be dead after all that had happened. She was the bravest person I knew, and it just didn't seem like she could really, truly be dead. She just couldn't be. But my vision was so clear. She _had_ to be dead.

"NO!" Edward yelled, leaping up from his chair. "Bella _cannot _be dead!" I gasped, realizing that he had read my mind. I grasped Jasper's hand tightly.

"What?" Esme said, confused. "Of course Bella's not dead, Edward."

"Then how do you explain why Alice was saying Bella was dead?" Edward growled, glaring at me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I choked out, sobbing again. I once again made myself see the vision that had ruined everything, knowing that Edward would see it too.

"NO!" he roared even louder than before. "_NO!_"

"I'm so sorry," I repeated.

"Do _not _try to calm me, Jasper!" Edward yelled, his body heaving with sobs. "I have to get away from here." He ran out of the room, sobbing.

There was silence as everyone processed the information.

"Bella, my daughter, is dead?" Esme said, her voice filled with horror.

"Bella," Emmet whispered, his eyes wide and filled with shock.

Even Rosalie looked appalled and even a bit remorseful.

I sighed sadly and nodded, leaning back against my wonderful Jasper's chest while his arms wrapped around me.

"What will we do about Edward?" Carlisle sighed unhappily.

**Author's Note: Sorry about how short this chapter was. It's kind of just a filler until I can get to the Edward's POV next chapter. I wasn't planning on updating so fast, but since all of you gave me tons of reviews (12!!! Thanks sooo much!!!), I decided to update early! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to posting the next one. **


	3. Answers and Edward's Pain

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Twilight. I do however own the Browning coven. Yay! I own something! Woot!!!

Elizabeth's POV:

"You are a vampire," I said bluntly. Tomas shot me a look, but I felt no remorse. The girl had a right to know what she was.

"I know," she said, surprising both Tomas and me. "But please, could you tell me where I am?"

"Of-of course," I stuttered in shock. How could she know already? "You're in a little town in Washington."

"Is the town's name Forks?" she asked.

"No," Tomas answered. "Do you need to feed?"

"I need to hunt," she said.

"Of course," Tomas said, helping Bella to her feet.

"Wait just one second!" I said, standing up. "Both of you sit back down a minute. Bella, I was wondering how you knew what you were before we told you."

"Oh, well," she said, looking uncomfortable and pained, as if speaking of this brought back unpleasant memories, "I knew some vampires back when I was a human."

"Ah," I said, finally understanding. "I'm sorry, but we haven't properly been introduced. I'm Elizabeth Browning, and this is my husband, Tomas Browning. We have two adoptive children, Annabel and Ethan, who are at school now. They should be about your age, well, they were changed when they were about your age. Annabel is technically one hundred forty-seven, but she appears to be sixteen, and Ethan is ninety-three but appears to be seventeen."

"And I am five hundred years old, but look-"

"Thirty-eight," I said, shooting Tomas a look, annoyed that he interrupted me. "And I'm four hundred sixty-three, but look thirty-seven," I said.

"Oh," Bella said, looking overwhelmed. "Are Annabel and Ethan a couple?"

"No," Tomas answered.

"I hope this question is not too personal, but what are your powers?" Bella asked.

"It's not too personal at all, Bella," Tomas said gently. "I am an illusionist." Tomas used his power and made a huge dog that I never would have allowed in the house appear. Bella's eyes widened as the dog vanished as quickly as it had come.

I said, "I can predict the outcome of things, such as the outcome of a baseball game, or the outcome of a lottery," I said, gesturing at all of the expensive things around me. "Annabel can see people's memories and thoughts by touching them and sense human presences on objects, and Ethan can-"

"Ethan can what?" Ethan asked, walking into the room.

"I was telling Bella about our powers," I said. "Ethan can see people auras."

"Auras?" Bella said, sounding confused.

"Yes, I said, nodding. "A person's, or a vampire's, aura is kind of like your glow, according to Ethan. By looking at your aura, he can tell if you're lying or upset. That kind of thing."

"I could have explained it myself," Ethan grumbled. Then he looked at Bella in surprise. "But I can't see her aura!"

"It's not the first time," Bella mumbled.

"What?" Ethan asked.

"I mean, it's not the first time a vampire's power didn't work on me. I was immune to a mind reader once," she said, her eyes sad.

"I'm back!" Annabel said happily, waltzing into the room. Then she spotted Bella.

"I'm so glad that's over with!" she said, hugging Bella who looked surprised. "Do you know what your power is?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Don't worry. We'll figure it out eventually," Annabel said happily.

I looked around at the scene in front of me. For some reason, everything looked _right_. Like fate had wanted Tomas to bite Bella and bring her home. So that everything thing would look complete. I smiled and knew that everything would turn out fine.

Edward's POV:

Bella. Was. Dead. It couldn't be. There was no possible way that my one true love could truly be gone from this Earth forever, gone to a place forever barred to me. I ran until I felt like I could run no more, and finally collapsed. I sobbed into the cold, hard ground.

My precious Bella was gone forever. Images appeared in my mind. Images of Bella- Bella blushing, Bella laughing, Bella smiling, Bella scowling, Bella, my beautiful Bella, _living_.

I remembered the time in the car when she had confessed that she knew what I was. That I was a _monster _and that she didn't care. That had shocked me. How could she not care that I was a threat to her wellbeing; that every second I spent with her I desired her blood? How could she not care that I wasn't even _human_? How could she have that knowledge and still care for me, still _love _me?

I remembered the time in the meadow. It had been my secret place, and yet I had the desire to show it to Bella. I wanted no secrets between us, and I knew how her face would light up as she saw the beauty of my sanctuary. All I had ever wanted was for her to be happy. If leaving her would ensure that she could live a happy, _human_ life, I would do it. Bella's happiness mattered more to me than anything in the world. But I was the only one that knew about the meadow now.

More sobs shook my body as I remembered how she had looked on the night of the prom. She was so beautiful, as she always was. I loved everything about her, her smile, her blush, even her clumsiness. She was the only reason I had to live, and now that she was gone, there was no point to my existence.

I ran back to the house, still sobbing, and immediately went to Carlisle's study, flinging papers around and tearing apart folders looking franticly for my passport. Why oh why had I asked Carlisle to hold on to it for me?

"Edward-" Carlisle said, standing in the doorway.

"Where is my passport, Carlisle?" I growled.

"I had to destroy it. I can't have you die too. Have you seen Esme? She is devastated! I don't even want to think about how she would react if you died as well," Carlisle said with a fierce determination.

"She's dead!" I sobbed. "There is no point to this horrible existence! Please, _please _don't force me to pretend like everything if fine! It's not! All I want is for this pain to stop! Maybe you're right. Maybe after it's all over, I'll see Bella again."

"I can't let you do that, Edward," Carlisle said.

"I'll find a way," I growled, then I ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. I threw myself onto the couch and started sobbing again.

_Bella_, I thought, _why? Why did you die and leave me here without you? I didn't mean anything I said! Please, believe me! I love you! I love you._

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in writing then updating process. My whole story got lost in my computer somewhere, so I had to remember what I was going to write in the first place. And since you have been so patient, I'm giving you two chapters. Originally, the Elizabeth's POV and the Edward's POV were going to be separate, but I think you guys deserve it. Anyway, show me that you really do deserve it by REVIEWING!!! Thank you, that is all. Have a nice day/afternoon/night/evening/existence. **

**PS. Oh, and about the small town in Washington, I really have no idea where the town is or what it's called or anything. I just made it up. **


	4. A Vacation

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Including the rhyme I am going to type.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I don't own Twilight

So please don't sue.

Bella's POV:

It had been one hundred long years since that fateful day in the woods that _he _had left me. One hundred years of unbearable pain from being away from _him _so long, and one hundred years of the closest thing to happiness that I had found in this empty world. My new family was the closest thing I had to relatives since René died at the age of sixty-five, only weeks after Phil passed away from a heart attack.

I remember her funeral like it had happened only yesterday. I wore a large hat with a veil that covered most of my face. I had snuck into the cemetery only minutes after the ceremony had started and stayed quietly in the back while some of my mother's friends cried in the front rows. I wished with all my heart that I could be there with them.

After words, I had run away so quickly that no human could even see the blur of my running figure rushing past them. I ran back to my house where I was staying with the rest of the coven, and threw myself onto the couch in my room and sobbed, the last whole piece of my heart breaking.

I knew in my non-beating heart that I had been the cause of my mother's death. If I had not mysteriously disappeared and been claimed dead, she would never have sunk into a depression after Phil died. Her husband had been the only thing that kept her normal. I cursed myself for doing that to her, even though there was no way I could have done anything to change the circumstances that I was in.

Maybe if I had been better, prettier, more interesting, _he _never would have left, and I wouldn't have gone missing. Maybe if I had been wittier, or more charming, or more intelligent, I could have held _his _attention longer. Maybe then my mother wouldn't have died from depression because I never would have left. Maybe he would have loved me.

Who knows what might have happened. There were just too many _maybes _and _ifs _to consider. After René had died, I would spend days torturing myself over the possible things I could have changed to make him love me.

Charlie had died at an earlier age. After a year or two of searching for me desperately, he had finally given up all hope and sunk into a depression that no amount of doctors could have brought him out of, although they did try. Everyday that my father was in pain, I shed nonexistent tears for the pain I was causing him. At the age of fifty-three, Charlie was put out of his misery and is in a happier place.

I had sobbed for hours at his death. I was a horrible daughter. I had never wanted to see him when I got the chance. When I did have the opportunity to live with my dad, I took it for granted.

I am glad for the family that I do have, though. I couldn't have asked for a more loving, caring family if I tried, which I am not planning to do. Tomas is every bit as caring and wonderful as Carlisle, and always says the corniest jokes whenever any of us feels the need to be cheered up. I am the usual recipient of those jokes.

Elizabeth appears to be a very stubborn, fiery-tempered, strong woman, well, vampire, but truly, on the inside she's a gentle, loving, motherly, passionate person, not that she would ever admit to that. She is also gives the most wonderful advice. If I ever have troubles, she is the one I would ask for help.

Annabel is every bit as bubbly and wonderful as Alice and is as passionate as Elizabeth when it comes to environmental protection.

"If we're going to live on this earth for eternity, we should really care about protecting it!" she would protest whenever the subject would come up, which all of us tried to avoid.

Ethan, well, he is interesting. He seems to have multiple personalities when I'm around him. For example, I could be talking to him like I would with Annabel and then all of a sudden he would get very defensive and completely annoy the hell out of me. I just don't know what to do about Ethan.

"Bella! Hello?" Annabel said, waving a pale hand in my face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Anna. What were you saying?" I asked sheepishly. Annabel sighed and threw her hands up in the air.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! When are you going to stop that?" Annabel sighed.

"Stop what?" I asked, confused.

"Oh you know! The sighing, the staring off into space, the blank look in your eyes," Annabel said, obviously frustrated. "It's been _years_! We talked about this! He's not good enough for you if he left you to _die_! He doesn't deserve you! You are a smart, beautiful, charming vampire. He's nothing but a stupid asshole, son of a bitch who doesn't even deserve to be thought about by you!"

"I know, Annabel," I said, sighing. Every year at this time, she would give me the same lecture. It had become a tradition since my fifth year living with them. No matter what she said, I knew that _I _was the one that was not good enough and that _I _was the one that didn't deserve _him_. Even though I was a vampire now, deep inside, I was still the ugly, clumsy, normal, human girl that Edward had left to die. No matter what I looked like on the outside, that girl would still be there, waiting to repulse Edward at the first chance she got.

"Good, then," Annabel said, frowning at me. "You know what we need?"

"No, what?" I asked, tired of this day.

"A vacation! We need to get away. Any suggestions?" Annabel asked.

"None," I said. A vacation did sound nice.

"I'll ask Tomas. He's got to have some ideas," Annabel said, frowning and walking off to find Tomas.

"So, you and Anna are going on a nice little getaway," Ethan said, sauntering into my room.

"What are you doing in here?" I demanded.

"Basking in your joyful presence," Ethan said sarcastically.

"God," I sighed, sinking down on my couch. "You have to be the worst aura-reader in the world if you think I'm joyful at the moment."

"Hey! I take offense to that!" Ethan said, cringing in mock pain. "Anyway, I can't see your aura anyway." He shot me a glare as if that was my fault.

"Don't try to blame me!" I said, glaring at him.

"Someone's in a bad mood today," Ethan said. I braced myself for the torrent of abuse that was going to come next. "I think I know why! Do you know what day it is today, Bells? I do! It's the day that we found you! Oh wait, isn't that the day your precious _Edward _left you? I mean, I can see why he-"

"Shut up!" I roared, punching him in the gut so hard that he was flown backwards and made a dent in the wall.

Ethan, much to my annoyance, simply got up and brushed himself off, looking as if he had simply tripped. He looked calmly at the dent in the wall.

"You might want to get that fixed," he said placidly, his eyes glinting with mischief, smugness, and anger. I glared at him, but he simply sauntered away as suddenly as he had come.

I broke down sobbing. Ethan's words had hurt. Today was the anniversary of the day that _he _had left me, taking my only chance of true happiness with him. _He _had taken my heart and my soul, my reason to live, and breathe, and thrive.

Eventually, I stopped sobbing. I stared at my almost empty room. The only contents were an enormous closet filled with only black clothing, a small bookshelf that only contained books with absolutely no romance in them at all, my couch, and a picture of Charlie, René, and me. Surprisingly, my almost empty room was where I spent most of my time.

Only minutes later, Annabel came practically skipping into the room.

"Guess what, Bella!" she said happily. Then she caught sight of the Ethan-shaped dent in the wall and raised one perfect eyebrow at me.

"Ethan was being an idiot," I said, shrugging. "What's the good news?"

"Tomas helped me find the perfect place for us to go!" Annabel said, bouncing happily.

"Where?" I asked, unable to summon up very much enthusiasm.

"Greece! It is so beautiful there, Bella. You're going to love it! And it's going to be overcast all this week! We can leave today!" Annabel said happily.

"Wonderful!" I said, smiling slightly for Annabel's benefit.

Four hours later, I was hopping into Annabel's silver Honda Civic Hybrid. It wasn't the flashiest car we owned, but it would do the job.

"Goodbye, you two!" Tomas yelled as Annabel started the engine.

"Don't get into trouble!" Elizabeth yelled sternly.

"Bye, Annabel," Ethan shouted, smiling at Annabel; purposely not speaking to me.

"Bye, everyone!" Annabel shouted for the both of us as we drove out of the driveway.

Throughout the car ride, Annabel tried to get me to sing at the top of her lungs with her. I had refused at first, but I eventually caved.

Before I knew it, we were sitting on an airplane and Annabel was complaining about how much gas airplanes used up. It seemed like years before we were let off the plane.

"Bella, I brought you here to get away from it all, not to mope around the hotel suite!" Annabel said sounding peeved. "Look! I bought you the most adorable clothes. They'll look perfect on you." She held a pink tank top that really did look adorable.

"If everything else is like that, you may as well take it back. You know I don't wear anything but black," I said, sighing.

Annabel moaned in frustration.

"Fine then!" she huffed. "But you are leaving this room!" She grabbed my arm, practically ripping it from it's socket and dragged me out into the rainy street.

I started to enjoy myself after a while. After all, Greece was beautiful.

"Oh, Bella, look at that!" Annabel said, clutching my arm and pointing at a beautiful frilly green dress.

"It's perfect for you," I said. "I'll stay out here while you go in and get it." Annabel smiled at me and practically skipped into the store. I was watching her argue with the sales person through the window when I heard a soft, whimpering sound coming from the alley nearby. I glanced at Annabel. She would be fine. And besides, I would be back before she even knew that I was gone.

I walked at human speed into a suspicious looking dark alley the source of the sound. What I saw shocked me. It was _he_.

_Edward. _

Curled up on the hard ground.

His shoulders shaking.

Sobbing silently.

Comforting him were Alice and Jasper.

My mind told my feet to run, but they didn't obey. Disobeying my better judgment, my lips opened and murmured a single, soft word.

"Edward."

Four eyes swung up to me, but there were only two topaz eyes that I cared about.

_His_ shoulders stopped shaking and he sat up and then turned and looked at me.

"Bella."

**Author's Note: **

**Sorry about the cliffhanger!!! I had to rewrite this chapter three times, but I'm pretty happy with it now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, review! Even if you didn't like it, tell me. I can totally handle it! Oh, and the longer the better!!! Wow, that is a whole lot of exclamation marks. **

**Anyway, if anyone has any ideas for Bella's power, I would love to hear them. I put in the whole Bella-and-Edward-meet-when-she's-on-vacation thing to make the story more original and less cliché. I hope it did that. **

**The next chapter should be in Edward's POV. Hopefully I'll have it updated faster than I got this one posted. Please review!!!s**


	5. Pain, Agony, Misery

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you recognize from Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse. I wish I did though. Sigh

Edward's POV:

Nothing mattered, nothing at all. Everything good in the world was taken away from me when _she_ died, love, happiness, joy. Now the world seemed to be drenched in a shade of the darkest black. I felt nothing but pain and sadness and despair. Everything reminded me of _her_, music, television, books. I couldn't close my eyes and hide myself away from the world without seeing _her_ beautiful, smiling face staring back at me with nothing but love. So I stared, eyes wide open, at the bare, plain wall, for twenty years.

My family was shattered at the loss. Alice was absolutely devastated. She had cried for days on end, nothing could comfort her. Esme was broken with pain. It was as if she had lost another child, which, in fact, she had. Instead of sobbing or refusing to take part in any activity, she cleaned with a ferocity I hadn't thought her possible of. It was as if she thought that if the house were immaculate, it would bring _her_ back. Emmett was grief-stricken. He had lost his little sister, and nothing could bring her back.

After twenty years, Alice stopped sobbing whenever a human that vaguely resembled _her_ would pass by; Esme stopped cleaning as ferociously as she had before after breaking down sobbing one day. Everyone was on the way to dealing with his or her grief, but I couldn't let _her_ go. I desperately wanted to remember. I was clinging onto _her_ memory with a fierce determination. I couldn't forget. She was the only part of me that I didn't despise with all my being.

I would do anything to get _her_ back.

No one had quite the heart to stop me from drowning in my despair. They brought me animals from their hunt for me to eat, and left me in my solitude. Never did I see Jasper. My pain must be overwhelming. After years of grieving, they all went back to their jobs and school, but no physical force at all could drag me away from my blank wall and my misery.

Throughout the years that followed, my family had tried to force me to do something, anything, than sit and wallow in my misery. Even Jasper attempted to convince me to leave my bare room, although my misery was overwhelming, even for myself. They never succeeded. The thought of school repulsed me. It had too many memories of _her_, how things used to be.

"Will he ever be the same?" I remember a distraught Esme asking a concerned Carlisle.

"No," I remember him saying sadly. "But perhaps, with time, he will be a little of what he once was."

Years Later

"Edward!" Alice shouted, vaguely distracting me from my despair. "You have to do _something_! Bella" – I flinched at _her _name spoken aloud -- "wouldn't want you to be this way. She would have wanted you to live and thrive. She would have wanted you to be happy."

"You have no idea what it's like!" I shouted at her, leaping to my feet, full of rage, not at Alice, but for everything; the injustice of the death of an angel, _my _angel, the unfairness of the world for taking her away from me before I could tell her how I truly felt, and the wrongness of having such a wonderful family when I was such a monster.

Jasper ran into the room immediately and put himself between Alice and I. I glared at Alice, which caused Jasper to emit a low, warning growl.

"Finally! You're talking again!" Alice shouted back at me, a touch of relief in her voice that was almost completely masked by her anger. She stepped in front of Jasper and looked up at me, her onyx eyes glaring at me ferociously.

"Alice," Jasper said his voice low.

"I may have never lost Jasper, I _have _lost Bella, my best friend and sister. I _know _how it feels to lose someone you love, Edward. I might not have loved her in the same way you did, but I loved her all the same. Her memory is everywhere, Edward, but instead of hiding from it like you, I embrace it. I _want _to remember her! Do you?" Alice yelled.

"Of course I do!" I yelled in return, furious. "You don't understand. It's physically _painful _for me to even _think _of her."

"It doesn't have to be that way, Edward!" Alice said, her eyes full of unspoken sadness. "You can overcome that pain, live _with _it instead of trying to fight it, and start to _live_ life again."

"Who are you to tell me what's right?" I growled angrily. "You don't _know_."

"Don't know what?" Alice asked, her voice loud. "Death? Do you think that just because I don't remember being human that I don't remember death? I know death and I know that it's not healthy for you to stare at the wall all day long."

I gave her one last withering glare, and turned and sat on the ground again, my eyes staring resolutely ahead at the wall.

Alice didn't leave for several hours, and Jasper stayed by her side. Finally she sighed.

"At least he was himself for a while," she said sadly then she and Jasper walked away from my misery and me.

The next day, Alice returned to my room.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to try to track Victoria and Laurent with Jasper," Alice said calmly. "I would love for you to come with us."

"Why inconvenience yourself?" I asked, still staring at the wall.

"Because it would make me feel better to try to kill vampires that would have harmed Bella if they could," Alice said sadly. "A sort of closure I suppose. We never did get to see the body."

"I'll come," I heard myself answer monotonously. My answer surprised Alice and myself.

"We're leaving in an hour," Alice said. "I'll pack for you."

An hour later, I was seated in the back of Jasper's car, driving towards the airport. Being outside, out of my protective room, was startling for me. I wasn't used to the outdoors any longer. Memories flooded my mind. The only thing I could do to stop a torrent of sobs was to close off all my emotions completely.

"I've heard that Victoria and Laurent were last seen somewhere in Greece. We're going there first," Alice told me on the drive there.

"Isn't most of Greece in the sun?" I asked in a monotone, my emotions still in check.

"Well, Carlisle managed to find the one city that wasn't. It's a beautiful town," Alice said.

_I hope this is good for him. I don't know what else to do, _Alice thought, unconsciously sending her thoughts to me. I flinched. I hated the pain I was causing my family.

Within hours, we arrived in Greece.

"I'll get a cab," Jasper said to Alice after leaving the airport.

"No," Alice said, reaching out and stopping him. "I think we should walk. The hotel isn't too terribly far away. We should enjoy the wonderful, cloudy day."

Jasper smiled down at his wife, an expression of pure love in his eyes. I flinched, but kept my emotions unseen and unfelt.

"Wonderful," Jasper said.

We walked along the streets of the quaint city. It _was _very nice. To my surprise, I found myself thinking, _she _would have loved it. I flinched again, my non-beating heart twisting in agony at just the casual thought of _her_. Fate must have been looking down upon me and laughing as it sent a wave of _her _delicious and wonderful scent in my direction. It was too much.

I ran to the nearest deserted alley and fell to the ground, sobbing. My emotions ran free. All my barriers had fallen as soon as I smelled _her _scent. It was overwhelming. Memories that I had been suppressing ever since stepping out of my room came crashing down upon me all at once. I felt Alice's comforting hand stroke my hair sympathetically, but I felt no comfort. This had been a mistake.

Then I smelled it again.

A delicious scent.

Her scent.

I looked up.

_Bella._

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, so there you have it, folks the newest edition to this story. I hope you liked it! I tried really hard on Edward's POV, and I hope that I did him justice. If I didn't, please review and tell me what I could have done differently. I would love to know so that I can make it better the next time! **

**Anyway, this was more of a sort of a filler chapter to kind of tell you what's going on with Edward and what he's been up to. The real action will begin in the next couple of chapters. I hope I'm not boring you! **

**As always, review, review, review!!! **

**PS. Is any one else's story/author alerts/PM thing not working? If you try to PM me, and I don't respond, that's probably why. **


	6. Run

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any recognizable characters. Pity. But I do own Annabel, Tomas, Elizabeth, and Ethan.

Bella's POV:

I froze, and time seemed to slow.

My inner-self was in turmoil. My brain told me that the smartest thing, the _only_, thing to do was to flee before _he_ could hurt me as he had in the past. But my heart wanted, no _needed_, to hear _his _voice one more time; to feel _his_ gentle hand caressing my face; to feel _his_ soft lips cover mine. I didn't know which to follow.

I had avoided the Cullens for years so they would never find me and hurt me like they had in the past. Was I willing to give my secrecy up for one meeting with _him_? Or was I a fool to not take this chance. Maybe _he_ wouldn't hurt me this time. Maybe we would live happily for all eternity.

But _he_ didn't love me.

I knew what I had to do.

I ran.

I heard someone follow in pursuit of me, but I just went faster. I had never run as quickly as I did when vampires pursued me. I was just a blur to the human eye. I found Annabel quickly, then ran with her to our hotel room and immediately threw my suitcase open.

"What are you doing, Bella?" she asked, completely confused.

"We have to leave," I said, still packing quickly.

"Why?" Annabel asked in a loud voice. "Why do we have to leave? Is it because you're terrified of having a good time, or maybe you want to be miserable for every second of your life? Is that it?"

"No, Anna," I protested weakly, starting to pack her clothes.

"Then what? You never even _attempt _to be anything but miserable! You mope around all the time and frankly, it's annoying and insulting. It's like you don't even appreciate our effort to make you a happier person. We've done so much for you, Bella, yet you ignore it. Why?" Annabel shouted, her temper rising.

"_He's _here," I answered simply. Then I broke down into sobs.

"Oh, Bella!" Annabel said, horrified. She comforted me until I stopped sobbing.

"I _ran_ from _him_, Annabel!" I said, despair in my voice. Surely by now all chances of my happiness were gone.

"Good, Bella," Annabel said, her voice firm. "You should have. It's the right thing to do. You can't let him break your heart again. And I swear, that I'll do anything in my power to stop him from hurting you, even if I have to keep him away from you entirely."

"Annabel, I'm not sure if that's such a good-"

"Hush, Bella. Of course it is," Annabel said soothingly. "I simply _cannot _let a man who hurt you so badly that you spend hours sobbing each day hurt you again. Now let's get packing."

In only a few hours later, we were sitting in an airplane, waiting for our flight to depart, when I saw a small girl with black hair come one to the hair. My eyes widened.

"Annabel, we have to get out of here!" I whispered franticly in her ear.

"Why?" she asked.

"One of the Cullens is here!" I whispered, more frantic than before as Alice's eyes searched the plane for me. Annabel's eyes widened.

"Let's go," she said. She discreetly pulled down her large hat and I did the same, fearing to be recognized.

"My friend is very sick, we need to get off this plane," she said in an urgent tone.

"There will be no refunds, miss," the flight attendant said nervously.

"We know," Annabel said; then we got off the plane quickly. Ten minutes later, the plane departed, taking Alice with it.

"Hurry! We've got to get out of here!" I said quickly.

"Yes, we must," Annabel said.

In only a few hours, once again, we were on a plane. This time there were no Cullens.

I didn't know if that was a good thing, or a bad.

**Author's Note:**

**You're all spoiling me with all the reviews! Not that I mind, of course. Thank you; thank you so much for commenting on my story! It just makes my day! I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I've been putting off writing it for a while because I didn't know exactly where the plot was going, but I know now. If you've got any questions about what exactly the plot is, then review or PM me. The safest way though is to review, since I'm still not sure if my PM is working. **

**Anyway, I wanted to address the Bella-being-emo thing. Bella is **_**not **_**emo, she just wears black to show mourning for her parents and her friends that died over the years. Sorry if there was any confusion. **

**As for Bella's power, I think you, the reader, should get a say. Would you rather have:**

**Bella have no power**

**Bella have no powers other than being able to blush**

**Bella having the power to make people trip with her mind**

**Bella being able to break things (objects) with her mind (because she trips and breaks so many things) **

**Bella just being immune to all powers (I don't like this one so much because it's not really original)**

**In conclusion, thank you all for taking the time to read this chapter, and I hope it was up to your standards. I don't really like it as much as my other ones, but that's just me. Please review to tell me any problems you had with Bella or any other characters being OOC. Thanks! **


	7. My Beautiful Hallucination

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Duh. 

Edward's POV:

Beautiful.

A beautiful hallucination.

At that moment, gazing at my beautiful Bella, my pain fell away from my broken body, and I felt complete, whole, and_ happy_. My memories had not done her justice. She was so beautiful. I wished more than ever that I could take her into my arms and never let her go, but I couldn't. She was a being conjured from my longing imagination.

Yet, she looked so _real_, as if she were actually standing before me, gazing down at me with her familiar eyes, eyes I had gazed into many times before. Perhaps she was an angel. Or a demon, sent to torment me with the vision of my lost love, the one thing in this world that I wanted. Whatever she was, my Bella was beautiful, amazing, and _alive_. Yet, how could that be? I knew then that the image was in fact just my imagination playing spiteful tricks on me.

Then, as quickly as the vision of my angel had come, it was gone, leaving me gasping in pain.

"Edward! Go after her!" Alice hissed in my ear.

"No," I said, knowing that all efforts would be useless. But, how had Alice seen _her_?

"If you won't I will," Alice hissed angrily, glaring at me as I rose shakily to my feet.

"Do not trouble yourself, Alice," I called out after her, closing off my emotions again so that I would not feel the immense pain that threatened to emerge in a fury. "She's merely a beautiful figment of my imagination."

"Edward, that was not your imagination. It was truly Bella," Jasper said quietly.

"How can you say that? Bella is dead," I said emotionlessly.

"How can you not grasp any chance of being with her again?" Jasper asked, frustration evident in his voice. "If I had lost Alice I know that I would forever be searching for signs that she was still with me."

"Why hope for the impossible?" I said, letting bitterness enter my voice.

"It is not impossible!" Jasper said, shaking me roughly. "She was _here_!"

"No, she wasn't, Jasper," I said, letting myself slip back into the comfort of numbness. "She is just a beautiful figment of my desperate imagination."

Jasper growled in frustration.

"I need to find Alice," he said, then left, leaving me numb, unwilling to let my emotions run free. The pain would be unbearable, and it would break me. I don't know how long I stayed there, emotionless, waiting for Alice and Jasper to return. If the sky turned dark and the sun went down, I didn't acknowledge it. All my energy was focused on not feeling my painful emotions.

All of a sudden, I was knocked backwards.

"I hate you!" Alice said, her eyes blazing with rage. She ran up to me and slapped me with all her strength. I did not feel anything.

"Alice!" Jasper said, restraining her and holding her in his arms.

"Let go of me, Jasper!" She struggled to get out of his tight grip. "I could be reunited with my best friend now if not for him!"

I looked away, not wanting to risk my carefully built wall to collapse.

"No, you look at me, Edward Cullen!" she screamed. "There was another vampire with her! If you had come with me, you could have read her mind to find out where they were and where they were going! You could be with Bella right now!"

I flinched. Hearing _her_ name chipped away a small, but vital piece of my wall.

"Just think of it, Edward Cullen! You could have Bella in your arms! You could be kiss-"

"No more!" I roared, my wall crumbling completely. "She _was not here_! She was a figment of my imagination!"

"No, she wasn't!" Alice screamed. "She was real and _here_. Why didn't you go after her?"

"She-"

"Don't even think about saying that she was just a hallucination! She was solid and _alive_!" Alice glared at me ferociously.

Jasper moaned. His face was contorted from pain.

"Oh, Jasper, I'm so sorry!" Alice said, quickly calming herself. She comforted Jasper while I worked to rebuild my wall.

"We need to find her," Alice said. "I followed her to the airport, but then lost her. The plane was going to L.A., but she couldn't be there."

Alice sighed in frustration.

"Where could she be?"

**Author's Note:**

**Well, there is chapter 7. I hope you all liked it! And although I didn't have any Bella and Edward together in this chapter, I still feel like it's pretty good. What did you all think? Did I do Edward justice? Edward's point of view is really hard to write, so I hope I did it all right. **

**As for Bella's power, thank you all very much for your input. It helped me a lot. Although the most popular power was Bella being able to break objects with her mind, I have decided on Bella being able to blush thanks to RockstarLife's very helpful review (thanks so much!). I mean, it really fits her if you think about it. Anywho, thank you so much for your helpful reviews. **

**And since this author's note is almost as long as the chapter (lol) I'll be going now. Please, **_**please**_** review and tell me how I did and what I can change and even give me advice for what to put in my future chapters. I don't have them written, so any input is always helpful! **

**-R.o.L-**

**P.S. I'm trying out for my school's musical tomorrow! Wish me luck everyone!**


	8. Move

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never said I did.

Bella's POV:

"They what?" Elizabeth yelled, springing to her feet.

"They were in Greece," Annabel said quickly, "and I'm afraid they might find Bella."

"Would that truly be so horrible?" Tomas asked placidly, his brows frowning in thought.

"Yes, it would!" Annabel shouted. "He broke her heart, Tomas! As her family there is no way in Hell that we can just stand idly by and watch him do it again!"

"I understand that you're concerned about Bella, but don't you think we should let her make this decision?" Tomas asked. The two of them looked to me expectantly.

"I," I said slowly, hesitating, wanting to choose my words wisely, "I think Annabel is right. I would see _him _and fall in love at first glance. But when he says he doesn't want me, my heart will break . . .again. It's not strong enough. I, I wouldn't . . . I _couldn't_ survive if he rejected me again."

"See?" Annabel said smugly.

"Great," Ethan said sarcastically. "So I'm assuming we have to move."

"Of course!" Annabel said. "They could be trying to find her at this very moment, and I for one, am going to try to ensure that their efforts are in vain."

"If you are sure, Bella," Tomas said gently.

"I am," I said, my voice soft.

"Then there's nothing more to it," Elizabeth said briskly. "We must go to one of our other houses."

"Which one?" Ethan asked. "I particularly like the one up in Canada. It has got very good game."

"No, it has to be in a place that the Cullens would never think to look for her," Annabel said, deep in thought.

"Hawaii?" Ethan said sarcastically. Annabel said nothing, continuing to delve deeper into her thoughts.

"Be serious, Ethan!" Annabel said. "Come on! This is Bella's life, we're talking about!"

"Technically, she's not alive, so . . ." Ethan said, a grin on his face. Annabel ignored him.

"I know!" Annabel said, a delighted smile lighting up her perfect face. "Please, Bella, hear me out before you say anything."

"Of course," I said.

"The one place they would never look for you is in Forks."

My eyes widened in horror. I could never return to Forks! Not to the place where my life had been more than wonderful and then had become a nightmare. It was . . . not even an option. I had been working for years to lock my emotions away in a small part of my heart. Going back to Forks would unlock those unwanted feelings and memories, leaving me completely vulnerable and defenseless.

"No," I said firmly. "Absolutely not."

"Bella, think about it!" Annabel begged. "They know about your memories and what happened to you in Forks, and they would never dream of finding you _there_!"

"But-"

"It _is _a good plan, Bella," Tomas said reluctantly.

"But-"

"Bella, this may be the only way," Elizabeth said.

"Bella," Ethan said, "I think you should listen to them."

I sighed. They were right. But how could I deal with my past when I could barely handle my _life _in the present?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Bella, everything will be fine," Tomas said reassuringly. "Look, what is cleverer than a talking cat?"

"I don't know," I said, smiling weakly at his attempt to cheer me.

"A spelling bee," Tomas said smiling in return.

"We're getting on the plane," Elizabeth said, to the two of us.

"All right," Tomas said, smiling at his wife warmly.

Once on the plane, I discovered my family members were not sitting by me, most likely trying to give me my space.

I sighed. Although they meant well, I wished my family had sat closer to me. I needed something to distract me from my thoughts.

The boy next to me sighed loudly. I looked over at him. He was possibly seventeen years old. He had dark skin, black hair, and deep brown eyes.

"Hello, I'm Adam Ateara," said the boy next to me. I gasped in surprise, but masked it with a cough. _Ateara_! Quil! This was Quil's descendent!

"Isabella Browning," I replied, regaining my composure.

"Isabella," the boy said slowly, as if tasting it. "It's a beautiful name. It suits you perfectly."

I smiled.

"Where are you headed?" I asked.

"La Push," Adam replied. My eyes widened in surprise.

"In Washington?" I asked.

"That's the only La Push I know of," Adam said, smiling. "And you?"

"Forks," I replied.

"Really?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes," I said, nodding.

"What a coincidence!" Adam said with a grin.

"It is," I murmured softly.

"What was that?"

"Excuse me, but I'm terribly tired. If you don't mind . . ." I said, yawning.

"Oh! Of course! You sleep," Adam said. I smiled at him, then closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, pretending to sleep.

What game was fate playing? How could it send a werewolf's descendent to me? I was a _vampire_! The last thing I wanted to do is cause this poor, innocent teenager to change into a mythical being! This complicated things further. What was I going to do?

**Author's Note:**

**I'm really sorry about the delay in the update, and I'm also sorry that the next chapter is almost guaranteed to take as long. You see, at this point in the year, I become extremely busy with the musical and dance and various choirs, so I don't have much time to write. I'll try to get in a new chapter as soon as possible, but I can't guarantee quickness in the updates. Sorry! **

**On another note, what did you think of the chapter? Please review, whether to criticize or just plain chat about your day! Enjoy and goodbye for now!**

**-R.o.L.**


	9. Finding Bella and Jake's Eyes

Bella's POV:

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Twilight. Duh. 

Alice's POV:

I paced impatiently back and forth across the small hotel room. It took all my strength and Jasper's immense power to prevent me from killing Edward on the spot. My body shook with rage. Edward's stubbornness had cost me so dear a price. If he had gone after her- I growled softly in frustration. I had been so close to a reunion with my best friend, my _sister_ practically. The family was so close to being complete, _whole _again in what seemed to be an eternity, though it was merely a century.

I hissed in frustration as I again looked for Bella's future, but found none, nor did I find any future of the vampire that was accompanying Bella. I felt so useless. Why could I not see Bella? Why was my power not working? I clenched my fists in anger. Why was this happening now when I needed my power the most? Was fate playing a cruel trick on me? To dangle Bella in front of my face and then take her away without a trace was much more than cruel. It was torture.

I glanced at Jasper, my heart softening as I saw him mutter quietly into his phone. I did not know what I would do without Jasper, my one true love. If he were gone completely from this earth – I took a deep breath and pushed the thought from my mind to stop pain from emerging on the surface. I looked over at Edward, whose face was stony and unreadable. I could not imagine the pain he went through when he lost Bella, for I could not imagine living without Jasper, knowing he was never to return to my awaiting arms. I shuddered and felt sympathy towards the brother that I was so furious with.

Jasper looked to me, surprised by my abrupt change in mood. Then, drawing me into his arms, he shut his phone. I melted into his safe embrace, closing my eyes slightly, willing myself to forget the frustration and anger I felt and give myself over to a moment of peace with Jasper. I sighed, feeling Jasper's power influencing my emotions. It turned and looked at his handsome face, completely calm and relaxed.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

"I love you," Jasper said softly. I smiled slightly and just looked at the face that I loved so dearly.

"What did Carlisle say?" Edward asked, his voice breaking the calm silence. His tone was indifferent. How could he show no emotion so easily, so calmly?

"He advised us to come home immediately. When we arrive, the entire family will be waiting for us. We need to discuss this matter with everyone," Jasper said placidly. "This involves us all."

I nodded silently and ruefully pulled myself out of Jasper's arms. Immediately I felt like a part of me had departed.

"I'll take care of the plane," I said quietly. "Edward?"

"Yes?" Edward answered in his same cold tone.

"Get ready to leave," I said softly. "We will find Bella, Edward. I swear."

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"Oh, Edward, is it true?" Esme asked, rushing to greet us at the door as we walked into our house. The house did not feel as if it were truly home. Home was in Forks, where the Cullen family met Bella and where lives were changed forever.

"Is what true?" Edward asked, his tone remaining indifferent though he was with Esme.

"Is Bella truly alive?" Esme asked, hope and anticipation showing clearly on her face.

Edward was silent for a moment before he said, "Ask Alice and Jasper." He then turned and walked into the house into what I assumed would be his room. I sighed.

Esme's face fell in disappointment as she watched the back of her son. Quickly, however, her eyes shone with hope again and she turned to Jasper and me.

"It is true, Esme," Jasper said calmly. "We saw Bella in Greece."

Esme's motherly face spread in a wide smile that lit up her face in a way I had not seen for one hundred years. It truly was as if Sleeping Beauty were emerging from her rest. Suddenly the room seemed brighter and the mood seemed lighter. I knew that Jasper had nothing to do with the change. Jasper smiled.

"Do you know where she is, Alice?" Esme asked eagerly as she led us into the dining room where everyone except Edward was sitting around the table.

"I believe we would all like the answer to that question," Carlisle said calmly. Jasper and I took our seats quickly and watched as Esme bounced happily to her seat beside Carlisle.

"I'm afraid I haven't been able to see her in any of my visions," I said ruefully. Immediately Esme's face fell. "That doesn't mean that there is no chance of finding her!" I continued quickly. Esme smiled slightly.

"There are not very many places where a vampire may stay under the protection of cloud cover," Carlisle said rationally.

"Then let's all split up and search each one!" Emmett boomed, his voice intense with a desire to find his little sister.

"I don't think that'd really be efficient," Rosalie commented idly as if she was barely listening to the conversation.

"However, the situation may be difficult if she was drinking from humans," Carlisle said calmly. "Did you notice the color of her eyes?"

"They were gold," I said immediately, Bella's image flashing in my mind. I looked to Jasper who nodded in agreement.

"Then it comes down to where might she be," Carlisle said calmly, "assuming she stays in the United States."

"Forks," Emmett said automatically.

"No, she wouldn't be there," Carlisle disagreed. "There are many unpleasant memories of Forks that she has. I doubt she would go there willingly and I doubt her traveling companion would force her into such a place."

"That's true," Emmett mumbled, disappointment evident in his voice. "Then where is she?"

I sighed. That was the question.

Where was Bella?

Bella's POV:

My unbeating heart clenched nervously as my family and I stepped out into the rain of Forks. Never in my existence had I expected to return to _here_, this place of nightmares and fantasies, the place where I had met _him_. I swallowed nervously, regardless of the fact that I had no saliva. My fingernails dug into the palms of my pale, ice cold skin. Memories threatened to overwhelm me. I could see clearly in my mind's eye memories of Charlie, of Jake, of my classmates, of _his _family, of _him_. I took deep breaths, hoping to calm myself. It was a vain effort. The memories were too strong. From my throat emerged a dry sob. I doubled over in emotional pain.

"It's going to be all right, Bella," Tomas reassured me, patting my back gently. I forced my mouth to remain closed. I stood up and smiled weakly at Tomas. I had never in my wildest imagination ever thought that my past life would coincide with my present.

"Come, we must go to the house," Elizabeth said briskly, though in her eyes I could see sympathy. I nodded slowly. As I walked to the waiting car, Annabel remained close at my side as if afraid I would break under the emotional pressure. Ethan remained his ornery self and refused to feel any sadness or sympathy. He even had the nerve to compliment every aspect of Forks as we passed, including the high school, though he knew that was the building that had so many memories for me.

We were to live in a home near the border of La Push, a place where the Cullen's would no doubt avoid. I had been against the idea of such a place for fear of the werewolves that may be in La Push, but I was persuaded easily. I would do anything to avoid further heartbreak from the Cullens.

The car stopped in front of a house that was not nearly as lavish as the Cullen's was in Forks, though we could easily afford such a home. It had been Elizabeth's idea to live in such a normal house. I welcomed such an opposite of the Cullen's mansion, though Ethan did not like the commonness of the house. He was used to luxury. The house itself was very nice, in my opinion. It was a simple, two story house with a large porch. There were four bedrooms upstairs and ample closet space since Annabel wouldn't settle for anything less. It was very pleasant. It looked like any other human house that any other human family could live in. It was the perfect disguise.

I walked slowly into the house as Annabel and Ethan argued over something inconsequential. The wood floors creaked under my feet. There was already furniture in the house since Elizabeth had had that arranged beforehand. I walked up the stairs slowly and found my room quickly. The room was plain with wooden furniture and a soft, plush couch. It looked as if no one lived in it permanently. There was the photo of René, Charlie, and me, a few books, and clothes in the closet, but other than that, nothing.

I looked out the window. The view was mediocre, but that barely mattered. I did not care to stare at anything that may remind me of beauty, for when I thought of beauty I saw _his _face. I shuddered, then saw something moving in the distance. I frowned and looked closer, but saw nothing of importance. I turned from the window, but as I did so, I saw another movement from the corner of my eye. I glanced once again out the window, peering at the bushes and trees. As I looked closer, I saw a figure in the distance. Hardly thinking rationally, I opened the window and jumped through it to the ground. I then walked at human speed towards the intruder.

I crept silently towards the figure as I got closer. I walked behind the person and said quietly, "Who are you?"

The startled gaze of Adam Ateara greeted me.

"Adam!" I said in slight surprise. "I did not expect to see you again so quickly. What are you doing here?"

"Er," Adam said, obviously embarrassed. "Some of my friends and I heard of new people moving into this house and I was dared to go check out the family."

"Taking dares from your friends?" I said, raising one eyebrow and smiling. "How old are you again?"

"Seventeen," Adam admitted, blushing. So I had been correct. "I'm so sorry to intrude. I'll leave right away."

"No, it's all right," I reassured him. "I don't mind."

"Yes, but what about the rest of your family?" Adam asked, glancing cautiously over at the house.

"I-" I began to say.

"Adam!" a voice said, interrupting me. Immediately, a girl of about sixteen ran to Adam's side.

"Isabella!" Adam said, surprised. He turned to face the girl. I frowned. Isabella? Who was this girl?

"Adam, I told you, my name is Isa, not Isabella!" Isabella said playfully, swatting Adam on the arm. Then she saw me.

"Oh, Bella, this is _Isa _Black," Adam introduced. "Isa, this is Bella Browning."

Black? Did that mean? Then I saw the resemblance. Jake!

Isa's gaze was hostile and protective.

Her eyes.

Jake's eyes.

**Author's Note:**

**I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a long, long time. My compy completely crashed and I had to get a brand new one and long story short, it took a long time. Anyhow, I want to clear up some things. **

**First of all, in the last chapter Bella realized that Quil's ancestor was a werewolf. I am surprised that none of you intelligent reviewers caught that if Bella was changed immediately after Edward left her in the woods, she never would have discovered that Jacob was a werewolf. Also, since Bella would have been gone, Victoria and Laurent would have no reason to stick around, hence there would probably be no werewolves in the first place. **

**Since this a **_**fan**_**fiction and it doesn't have to follow the storyline or the line of reason exactly, let's pretend Bella knew about the werewolves. In face, I may mention it later on, but for now, I'm sorry that I made a mistake, but Bella knowing that Adam was a werewolf descendent is crucial to the plot. **

**Anywho, thank you all for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it immensely. I'm so sorry for not having written for a while. I hope I'll update more frequently. Please review!**


	10. Grandpa Jake

Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters from the Twilight series.

Isa's POV:

I stared inside the coffin. Grandpa Jake looked so still, so, well, dead. I felt the need to reach out and poke him just to see if he'd grab my hand and scold me like he had when I was young. I reached out my hand, my pointer finger outstretched when Paula, or should I say, Mrs. Ateara, reached out and grabbed my finger, stopping me. I sighed in frustration. If I wanted to touch the only member of the Black family that I had conscious memory of, who was she to stop me? Sure she was my legal guardian, but still! I ground my teeth together and shut my eyes to keep them from glaring angrily.

Of course I had to open them eventually. There was no freakin' way that I'd miss seeing Grandpa Jake one last time. I would have laughed if this had been anything near funny. I mean, for as long as I knew him, Grandpa Jake was always full of energy and life. I mean, he was like that even in his hundreds! Who the hell lives that long anyway? Okay, well, technically he wasn't my grandpa. He was my great-grandpa, but really, what's the difference?

Grandpa Jake was the nearest thing I had to family. My mom and dad died in a car crash when I was ten months old, and my grandparents had gone to the afterworld long before that. What with my family's history, I wouldn't be surprised if I just dropped dead. Grandpa Jake always seemed to be around, even if I didn't want him to. He was even the one that gave me my god awful name. Isabella. What kind of freak names their kid Isabella? Well, names aside, Grandpa Jake was pretty smart. For an old guy anyway.

Grandpa Jake was the only one that didn't flip when I got in trouble at school. He understood that I had to kick the ass of the guy that stole the nerd's lunch money. In fact, when I told him about it, he just laughed and ruffled my hair. He encouraged us when Adam Ateara, Nick Clearwater, and me pulled a wild stunt.

"Kids will be kids," he'd say. _Damn right_, I'd think. Of course, I didn't say that out loud because Adam's dad had no tolerance for swearing.

As I looked into that coffin, those pieces of wood stuck together to make a final bed for Grandpa Jake, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by memories. I saw Grandpa Jake and me sitting on the beach laughing. I saw Grandpa Jake sitting by a fire, him telling me about his wolf friend and 'cold ones'. I saw Grandpa Jake ruffling my hair while I scowled. I saw Grandpa Jake talking, his face serious, with Nick's great-grandma and great-great uncle. I saw Grandpa Jake running, trying to chase me. I saw Grandpa Jake writing while I teased him, saying he'd never get his entire life down in writing. I saw Grandpa Jake, on his last day alive, giving me his book. I saw him close his eyes for the last time. I couldn't believe he was gone.

Without any warning, I ran out of the room. It was too much to think about, too much to bear. No one person should ever have to do what I just did.

"Isa?" Nick's voice caused me to stumble. I hadn't seen him. "What are you doing?"

"Getting away from here," I answered. Then I did what I do best. I ran. I ran through the forest and on the beach and then did it all again, slipping off my shoes and letting my callused feet feel the steady ground beneath me. I ran faster than I ever had before. Grandpa Jake would be proud of me. I didn't think about anything as I ran. I just felt the wind in my hair and heard my heavy breathing. I was in heaven. Finally, I stopped. Immediately, I frowned. Where the hell was I? I looked around. I was surrounded by a few trees, some underbrush, but that meant nothing. I could be anywhere. I took a deep breath and prepared to run when I saw Adam. That was not an unusual sight, but the girl standing beside him was. I frowned. Who was she?

I silently moved closer.

"Er," Adam said, blushing. "Some of my friends and I heard of new people moving into this house and I was dared to go check out the family." I sighed. Adam was so obviously smitten.

"Taking dares from your friends?" the girl asked, her voice almost musical. "How old are you again?"

"Seventeen," Adam admitted, his face turning even more red. I silently snickered. "I'm so sorry to intrude. I'll leave right away." Damn him and his fancy talk. Who the hell talked like that anyway?

"No, it's all right," the girl said quickly. "I don't mind."

"Yes, but what about the rest of your family?" Adam asked. Would it kill him to say "yeah" once in a while?

"I-" the girl began to say. I decided that it would be a hell of a good time to interrupt.

"Adam!" I called out. I ran over to Adam at a slow jog.

"Isabella!" Adam said, his eyes wide with surprise. I rolled my eyes. I had told him time and time again to call me Isa like everyone else.

"Adam, I told you, my name is Isa, not Isabella!" I scolded him, then swatted him on the arm.

"Oh, Bella, this is _Isa _Black," Adam introduced, talking to the girl. "Isa, this is Bella Browning."

I finally turned and got a good look at this girl that Adam was obviously crushing on. She was beautiful. Like, prom queen mixed with beauty pageant winner beautiful. Like, "I'm going to act all innocent and then break your friend's heart" beautiful. Sure, maybe she was more than just a pretty face. Maybe she had a brain that was almost the size of one of her boobs. But brains or no brains, there was no freakin' way she was going to break one of my best friend's hearts and not get her ass kicked.

"I'm pleased to meet you," Bella stammered, her eyes wider than her normal quarter sized eyeballs. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

"Cut the crap, Barbie," I said, annoyed. "Listen, this boy right here is like a brother to me, and if you ever break his heart I will personally see to it that your ass gets kicked straight to the next millennium."

"_Isa_!" Adam hissed angrily. "What are you doing?"

"Just watching out for you," I said, looking at Bella through narrowed eyes. There was something wrong with her, something that wasn't quite right, but what the hell was it? Something in my gut told me to grab Adam and run as far away from this eerily beautiful girl as possible. "Besides, it's good that I found you. Paula's probably worried sick."

"Paula?" Bella said, her tone all confused, which added to the _I'm-oh-so-innocent-that-I-need-a-man's-protection _crap. I could see Adam melting in her gaze.

"My mom," Adam explained quickly. I rolled my eyes. Adam was just so pathetic at times.

"We've probably missed so much that Grandpa Jake is ten-feet under now and covered in a heavenly blanket of dirt," I said sarcastically.

"Grandpa Jake?" Bella asked, her voice now quivering. I sighed in frustration. Stupid little perfect and delicate barbie doll.

"Isa's great-grandpa, Jacob Black, died two days ago. Today is the funeral," Adam explained.

"Not that it's any of her business, Adam," I said reproachfully. Adam looked at me and shrugged. I rolled my eyes. "Let's get back."

I began to walk slowly, waiting for Adam to follow.

"Good bye, Bella," Adam said. Slowly, he followed me into the trees.

Sure enough, by the time we got back, Grandpa Jake's huge 6'5" body was underneath a pile of dirt.

"Adam! Isa! Where were you two?" Paula scolded, coming over to the two of us. "Isa, where are your shoes?"

I looked down at my feet. _Shit! _I had thrown them off when I started to run, but I had no idea where they were.

"Er, they got lost," I explained clumsily. Paula sighed and shook her head, though she should be used to this by now. I mean, it happened almost once a week. "Do you mind if I just run home? I feel sick."

Sympathy and pity instantly clouded Paula's face.

"Of course, sweetie," Paula said gently. "You go home and rest."

"Thanks," I said. Then I took off running once again.

Ten minutes later, I laid in my bed, my back to the mattress. On the nightstand beside me, Grandpa Jake's book just sat there, begging to be read.

_Fine, _I thought. _For you, Grandpa Jake, I'll read this book. _

I flipped past the title page and began to read.

_Isa, if you are reading this, I am dead. Don't mourn me. I had a long, long life and it is time I found peace. The contents of this book are very private. I do not wish you to share them with anyone else. You may not believe that what I am writing is true. You might think I'm making all of this up, but believe me, it's very true, and very real. _

_It all started when Bella Swan came to Forks. . . _

**Author's Note: I had a lot of fun writing this. It's great to sound like a teenager rather than a mature and hundred-or-so year old vampire. I really hope you all liked it. Please review!**


	11. What Victoria Did

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

**Author's Note: THIS IS ONLY A EXPERIMENTAL CHAPTER.**

Bella's POV:

I watched, my mind blank, too numb to think, as Isa and Adam disappeared into the trees. Jacob Black was . . . dead? I frowned, the surprise that had held me in check slowly whittled away. I had not known Jacob well, but I knew that we could have been friends if I had spent more time with him. It was a shock. I hadn't known that anyone from my human life was alive. And yet, Jake had survived, until now.

I stood, still as death. Day became night. My thoughts raced. How could Jake be alive after so, so many years? I closed my eyes as the answer appeared suddenly to me. I found myself returning to a cloudy day, many, many years ago.

Tenth Anniversary of Charlie's Death

_A calm breeze blew through the trees. My hair flew around my face. My arms wrapped around my stomach instinctively as my eyes found the grave. Charlie's grave. Pain ripped through my body. My knees could not bear the weight of shame and sadness. I fell to the ground. _

_"Hello, Dad," I said, my voice hoarse. "I'm so sorry that I haven't been here more often to visit. It's been ten long years. I came to tell you that this is the last time I will be here, in Forks. I hope you understand. I'm not strong enough to be in the place where the happiest and the more horrible things have happened. I came to say good bye. I hope you forgive me." _

_A sob escaped my throat. My arms strained to keep the pieces of my broken heart together. Tears were impossible. I hated myself. _

_Suddenly, a strange, horrible scent quieted me. Instinctively, I ran into the nearby forest and looked at Charlie's grave and the people that suddenly appeared in the distance. The men quickly reached Charlie's grave. Their backs were turned toward me, so I could see none of their faces. They were all very tall and muscular. Who were these people? _

_"Something smells wrong," a deep voice said softly. I could not tell which of the men was speaking. _

_"Blood suckers?" another deep voice asked, anticipation and excitement apparent. _

_"Maybe," said the first voice. _

_"We should probably search the area," said a different voice, deeper still than the two before. _

_"Go back to Sam's and tell him what's going on," said the first deep voice. "I'll stay here in case anything happens." _

_There was a nodding of heads, and then all of the men, except one, left the area. Slowly, the man turned around. _

_I gasped softly, then quickly covered my mouth with my pale hand. _

_Jacob Black. _

_I hadn't expected to see anyone I had known in my human life. Reeling, I took several, silent, deep breaths to calm myself. More than anything, I wished that I could talk to Jacob, to ask what had happened in the last ten years, to ask what had become of my friends and acquaintances from Forks High School, to ask why he looked so young. _

_"Come out, blood sucker. I know you're there," Jacob yelled. _

_Blood sucker? Did he mean a vampire? How did he know of us? Why was he taunting a "blood sucker", when, as a human, he would be unable to defend himself from attacks? Or did he have some sort of vampire-killing weapon? What kind of game was he playing? _

_But this was Jacob. We had been friends, though not close friends, in my human life. If he did have a weapon, he probably wouldn't hurt me. Probably. _

_Hesitating, I stepped out of the cover of the trees. _

_"Jacob Black," I said softly. _

_Jacob's enormous body whirled around quickly. His hair was cropped short, and his gaze was hostile and defensive. Then, seeming to recognize me, his eyes widened. _

_"Bella Swan?" Jacob said, his voice clouded with confusion. _

_"Yes," I replied simply. _

_"B-but you died!" Jacob's voice grew louder. "You disappeared years ago! You c-can't be real! You can't be a-"_

_"Blood sucker?" I finished his sentence. "How do you know about vampires?" _

_Jacob said nothing. Instead, he stared at the ground in a stony silence, his body trembling. _

_"Jake?" I said gently, concerned for my former friend. _

_"It was _them _wasn't it? The _Cullens_? Damn it! We had a treaty!" Jake yelled angrily. _

_"It wasn't the Cu-" my voice choked as I attempted to say _their _name. "It wasn't the family you're thinking of, Jacob. It was an accident." _

_"Shit!" Jacob cursed. "Shit. Shit. Shit. I had been looking for an excuse to ri-"_

_"What happened to you, Jacob? Why are you like this?" I gestured at his humongous body. "How do you know about vampires?" _

_Jacob groaned in frustration, and began to pace. His trembling had turned into a more violent shaking. _

_"I'm a werewolf, Bella. A freakin' werewolf, all right? We're both monsters. Ha, isn't that funny?" Jake said finally. "Me and practically all of my friends. Quil, Paul, Embry, Sam. All of us. Freaks." _

_Werewolves? I didn't know what this meant for me. For Jake. I would have to ask Tomas or Elizabeth later. _

_"Jake, I'm your friend. If there's anything I can do to help-"_

_"Go, Bella," Jacob said, his voice eerily calm. "You've done more than enough."_

_I took a hesitant step backwards. What could he mean?_

_"But, Jacob-"_

_"Go!" Jake yelled. _

_Eyes wide, I ran, and never once looked back. _

Present

While I was lost in my memories, my legs had brought me to stand in front of Jacob's grave. I sank down to the ground beside the mound of dirt, then bent over and rested my forehead on the cool grass. Closing my eyes, I willed everything to simply disappear. Darkness came and went. The first rays of sunlight appeared on the horizon. Taking a deep breath, I rose slowly to my feet.

"Are you happy, you bitch?"

I spun around in surprise.

"Isa, what are you doing here?" I asked, my voice calm, not betraying the emotions I felt so deeply.

"Don't play innocent with me." Isa's voice rose. "How dare you come back here after everything you've done?" Isa flung a ratty notebook on the ground in front of my feet. "I know everything! I know about you and the rest of the damn blood suckers! I know that _you're_ the reason that my family is dead! I know that _you_ are the reason for every fucking thing around here!"

What was she talking about? How could I possibly be the reason her family was dead? I hadn't known any of her close relatives. How could she blame her family's misfortunes on me?

"Isa, what-"

"I have nothing to say to you." Isa's voice was now eerily calm. So much like Jacob's had been on that day. "But I will say this. The next time I see you, I will tear you limb from limb. Stay away from my friends. Stay away from La Push. If you hurt anyone I care about ever again, I will hunt you down."

I stared in a stunned silence as Isa ran away, her glossy black hair trailing behind her. Numb, I bent down and picked up the notebook Isa had left behind. It was open to a page entitled, "Isabella Swan, read this". Taking a deep, shaky breath, I flipped open to the next page.

_Bella, _it read, _by this time, I have most likely been in my grave for a very long time. I don't expect Isa to find you easily, knowing that you obviously won't be nearby. Getting to the point, many things have happened in your absence, and many of the horrible events I am about to tell you of happened as a result of things you did. I don't mean to blame you entirely. The blood sucker family, the Cullens, is much to blame as well. _

_In March, six months after you "died" or "disappeared", hikers began to go missing. Around that same time, some of the teenagers in La Push, my friends in particular, began to become werewolves. Later, we learned that the transformation had been triggered by the appearance of a blood sucker, or vampire, named Victoria. To make a long story short, we had several, well, battles, I suppose you could say. During those, we learned that Victoria was there to hunt down _you_. Though we told her several times that you had left, she refused to believe us, insisting that we were harboring you. _

_After a few months of the battling, the attacks suddenly stopped for no reason. You can imagine our surprise. The standstill lasted for a month. Then, Victoria began her underhanded attacks, killing those close to us in an attempt to get us to tell us where you were. Quil Ateara Sr., Sue Clearwater, Emily Young, and my dad, Billy Black, were all dead after four weeks. _

_Years and years went by. All of us that remained were relived and thrilled, though still grieving from the fresh wounds. But life went on. I got married and had a son, Billy. My wife and I were blissfully happy. I thought that maybe, just maybe, things were going to stay the way they were. Of course I was wrong. _

_When Billy was ten, Victoria came back, and she had an army of bloodsuckers. The things that happened are too horrible to describe. They tried to massacre everyone in La Push, whether they were werewolves or not. So many people died, including my wife. Eventually, though, we cornered Victoria, I was the one allowed to kill the thing that had caused so much misery in my life. So much despair. So much anguish. _

_We killed the rest of the blood suckers. All except for one, which escaped by some miracle. At the time, we survivors shrugged it off, exhausted, thinking what harm could one lone vampire really do? That was one of the biggest mistakes we ever made. _

_But life, once again, went on. I raised my son alone and watched him grow into a man. He found a beautiful wife and had a beautiful little girl. Everything was going well. It was as if a beautiful rose somehow emerged from the wreckage that was La Push. One night, after Billy and his wife had enjoyed a private dinner and were walking down the beach, they were attacked. It was the lone vampire, the one that had survived. The vampire was found and killed, but even revenge didn't lessen my sadness. _

_So I was left alone again, with only my granddaughter. It pained me so much to watch her grow up without parents. I had told her that her parents died in a car crash to spare her the horrible truth. She, too, grew up, a ray of sunlight in my dark world. Like her father, she found love and had a child. I named the child Isabella. It was as if fate was playing an ironic joke on me when my granddaughter and her husband were both killed in a car crash. Now I was left alone with my great-granddaughter. _

_And that, Bella, is where the story ends. I wish I could say there was a happy ending. The truth is I grew old, and now I'm dying. I can take time to question things, ask, "What if?". What if you had never come to Forks? What if you had never met the Cullens? What if Victoria had never had an excuse to kill everyone I cared about? What if? _

_Goodbye, Bella. _

I was sobbing, dry, body-shaking sobs. Why hadn't Jacob told me any of this when we met again ten years after I had left? I could have helped him. So many people didn't have to have died. If I had just known. . .

Day turned into night as I sat there sobbing. Jacob and Isa and all the people in La Push had every right to blame me. It was entirely my fault. If I hadn't let myself get caught by James, or if I had never been in that baseball field, or if I had never fallen in love with _him_, so many people would be alive. So many people would have lived their lives as they were meant to be lived.

What had I done?

**Author's Note Revised: **

**THIS IS ONLY A EXPERIMENTAL CHAPTER. ** Let me explain. What I'm saying is that this story can go one of two ways.

Option One: I could keep going with this story line. It's a bit darker than I would have thought it'd be. If I keep going this way, just some quick plot give-aways, Bella would spiral into a depression; Edward would still have to find her, then (if he finds her), help her deal with before-mentioned depression while someone is after them. . .

Option Two: I could delete this chapter completely and go with a lighter story line. The plot would probably be something like Annabel would try to keep Edward and Bella apart. . . ect.

I, personally, can't make up my mind. This is a bit darker than I thought it would be and there may be errors in my reasoning when I tried to explain about Victoria and the werewolves. (If there are, please review and tell me so!) Anyway, it's up to you guys. I'll go with which ever you want, so please review and tell me which one you'd prefer. If you have any questions at all, feel free to PM me or leave a review.

**P.S. **

About the chapter. . . I feel the need to explain some things so no one gets confused. Bella wasn't as distraught over Jake's death because, since she had been changed on the day Edward left, she never got to really know him. The part of Jake's notebook that Bella read was obviously a quick summary. The part that Isa read was in full detail, so she knew the entirety of what happened.

- - -

Thanks!

**R.o.L.**


	12. Retreating

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Damn.

* * *

Annabel's POV:

I sighed in frustration. Bella still wasn't back after two days. Tomas and Elizabeth had been perfectly rational and calm about her disappearance, saying that Bella could handle herself, and that maybe this was for the best. After all, what did we expect, having brought her back to the place of her nightmares? Guilt weighed heavily upon my heart. If Bella never came back, it would be my fault. My fault for persuading her to come back, my fault for making her relive her horrible past, my fault for all the pain Bella was experiencing. I knew that my family wouldn't blame _me_, but I would blame myself.

The rest of the family had somehow managed to retain a peaceful and calm facade while cheerfully unpacking. Well, Tomas had, and I knew Elizabeth was trying. However, the worry was obvious on her pale face. Ethan, of course, unpacked all of _his _belongings with vampire speed, then settled down in front of the television and proceeded to play violent video games, seeming to ignore the world around the screen. I, too, had quickly unpacked. Instead of helping Tomas and Elizabeth or playing video games, I had taken to nervously pacing.

Where could she be? How many places were there to revisit in small, little Forks? How many memories in this dreary town did she want to relive? What if something had happened? What if she was doubled over in pain from her past? Could she be in danger, in her memory-induced weakness? She was vulnerable emotionally. Could someone have taken advantage of that fact? Could she be kidnapped or abducted? Oh, God, what if she was? What if she was being held captive and it was all my fault? What if-

"Bella is back." Elizabeth walked briskly over to me. Her face showed almost no emotion from afar, but as she came closer, I could see the relief in her eyes.

"Oh, thank God!" I said breathlessly, leaping up from the couch in my room. "Where is she now?"

"Resting in her room." Tomas had entered the room silently. His expression mirrored his wife's.

"She looks like hell," Ethan commented, striding slowly into the room, his mouth twisted into a smirk. "Wonder what happened."

"Wait, she looks like hell and yet no one is asking questions? What the fuck is going on?" I demanded.

"Language, Annabel," Tomas said offhandedly.

"I'm a teenager. It's what I do," I huffed in frustration. "So what's wrong with her?"

"We don't know," Elizabeth said calmly. "I suspect she's been through some sort of trauma. Something to do with her past."

"Once again, that damn, son of a bitch, Cullen is ruining her life," I muttered under my breath, anger and frustration pushing past the worry I had been feeling earlier.

"We don't know if it was him, Annabel," Tomas said placidly, trying to calm my frayed nerves.

"What else could it be?" I took a deep breath, an attempt to push down the anger. "It has to be-"

"It wasn't _him_."

We all turned simultaneously to find Bella standing in the doorway. My eyes widened with surprise and horror. Bella looked, well, as Ethan had aptly described, like hell. Her hair was disheveled and caked with dirt and mud. It stood out in various, all odd, positions. Beneath her eyes were large, dark purple, almost black bruises. Her clothes were tattered and dirty. But her eyes were the worst feature. They were the deepest black of onyx. Opened wide, and filled with remorse and agony, it seemed like she would let out a torrent of sobs at any given moment.

I wanted to rip apart whoever had done this to her. She said that it wasn't Cullen, but who the hell could it be if it wasn't him? If it was the last thing I did, I would hunt down Cullen and hurt him as much as he had hurt my sister. No one should have to suffer like Bella was so obviously suffering. It was the most agonizing form of torture that I knew of. And worse, he was also hurting the rest of my family, because I knew they were all in pain from simply seeing Bella's misery.

"Then who the fuck was it?" I growled.

Bella silently held out a few tattered pieces of paper to Tomas, who took them cautiously. Without a word, Bella turned away and left, leaving the four of us in my small room. We stared at the empty space where Bella had been in a bewildered daze.

Quietly, Tomas walked over to my couch and began to read the words on the pieces of paper aloud.

"_Bella_, _by this time, I have most likely been in my grave for a very long time. I don't expect Isa to find you easily-"_

* * *

_"And that, Bella, is where the story ends. I wish I could say there was a happy ending. The truth is I grew old, and now I'm dying. I can take time to question things, ask, "What if?". What if you had never come to Forks? What if you had never met the Cullens? What if Victoria had never had an excuse to kill everyone I cared about? What if? Goodbye, Bella." _Tomas's gentle voice shook with the last lines of the letter.

We all sat in a stiff silence, each wrapped in our own separate opinions.

"That was crap," I said loudly, the first to voice my thoughts. "It was the werewolf pack's own damn fault. They didn't protect their people well enough. It had nothing to do with Bella."

"I agree that it wasn't Bella's fault at all. It was merely a sequence of very grievous incidents. It had everything to do with the fact that there was a revengeful vampire on the loose. The Volturi-"

"Was probably happy to see an entire werewolf pack become extinct," Ethan remarked dryly.

"Should have stepped in. There were humans at risk," Tomas finished, shooting a disapproving glance at Ethan.

"I can understand the reason why Bella looks the way she does, and the reason why she acts in such a fashion," Elizabeth commented. "She must be plagued with guilt."

"Well, then we'll just make her see that it wasn't her fault. Bella can't believe that she's to blame for what happened," I insisted. Without another word, I strode over to Bella's room. I silently stood in the doorway, planning my next move. Bella had to be convinced of her innocence. She needed to know that it wasn't her fault. The whole mess was something that had nothing to do with her. I had seen her eyes. This was nothing like the pain she had experienced after Cullen. This was a new form of grief, a form that I wasn't used to dispelling.

"Bella," I said softly, walking slowly into the room. "How are you feeling?" There was no response. I crossed the room swiftly to Bella. She stood upright, looking out a window. I stood next to her and looked out the window as well. "It wasn't your fault, Bella." Not even a flinch. "It was that Victoria that was to blame. She was crazy enough to make an army. There was no way you could have known, could have helped. Don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault." No response. "For the love of God, Bella, say something!" The room was as silent as a grave. I sighed, then walked out of the room slowly, leaving her to think about my words.

* * *

Over the course of the next few months, I witnessed the most frightening and haunting event of my life. Bella was slowly retreating into herself. She changed, the changes all taking Bella farther and farther into darkness. She began to prefer solitude, refusing to leave her room. She wouldn't respond in any way to the family's blatant and ever growing desperation. It was clear that she had given up. Had simply decided that it was better to be despondent rather than happy. Slowly, she became statue-like in actions, never moving, never breathing, never showing any sign of emotion.

It was so difficult to watch. Tomas and Elizabeth tried to hide their worries, preferring to pretend that everything was, or could be fine. Absolutely fine. Peachy. Swell. The cat's meow. Groovy. Outstanding. Wonderful. Fine.

I, however, chose to shamelessly flaunt my anger and distress. I took often to pacing and muttering under my breath, as if that would compel Bella to end her guilt-driven depression. Every day exactly at two 'o clock in the afternoon, I would stop whatever I was doing, and would spend an hour devoted to convincing Bella of her innocence. She had no reason to feel guilty, and I wished more than anything that she would realize that I was right, that things would return to normal once again.

Ethan, of course, was the island of calm cynicism in our ocean of concern and worry. He refused to be fazed by any of Bella's doings or of her drift into darkness. He remained arrogantly sure of himself and of, what he called, "Bella's dramatic but short fall from grace". He claimed that Bella would return to her normal, somewhat depressed self in "no time".

* * *

"I'll see you again, same time tomorrow," I said roughly, slamming Bella's door angrily. Once again, I had no luck. Bella remained convinced in her guilt. I leaned on the door and sunk slowly down to the floor. I sighed. Was Bella ever going to believe me? Believe the truth? Sluggishly, I rose to my feet, then plodded into the family room where Ethan was hard at work destroying aliens and Elizabeth and Tomas were quietly reading. Everything was normal. Everything was fine. Just fine.

"No luck?" Elizabeth asked, never looking away from her newspaper.

"I think we all know the answer to _that_ particular question," Ethan snickered, his eyes never straying from the television screen.

"No luck," I answered dejectedly, as if Ethan had never spoken. "I just don't get it. How can she not see reason?"

"She's very stubborn," Tomas commented, flipping a page in his book.

"Yes, but-"

"She's not likely to change her mind," Elizabeth interrupted.

"She can't stay like this forever!" I protested. "Would one of you act like something's wrong, for once? Why am I the only one concerned? Why am I the only one that seems to care? If you think that my method isn't working, then try one of your own!"

The air in the room seemed still, as if even the aliens in Ethan's video game were aware of the tension.

"Perhaps she does not need to hear the truth from us," Tomas said slowly, speaking every word clearly. "Perhaps she needs to hear the truth from someone that she believes she is guilty of hurting."

"So we have to convince one of the wolf-brats to tell Bella that it wasn't her fault and everything will be fine?" I laughed dryly. "I doubt _that _will work."

"Well it's better than your method," Ethan snorted, never taking his eyes away from the television.

My hands clenched into fists, but I said nothing. No angry retort, no shout of protest, no argument. Nothing. Because he had a point. Because he may have been right. Because it was true that what I was doing wasn't helping. Because despite my best efforts, Bella wasn't getting better.

"How will-" Elizabeth began to say.

She was interrupted by a knock.

I sighed, and stood. Muttering under my breath, I opened the door.

And was greeted by two onyx eyes.

And bronze hair.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I am so sorry for not writing for so long. I just couldn't make up my mind about this chapter, and I'm still not fully happy with it. If you have any helpful suggestions, I would gladly take them and edit this chapter. To make it clear, I went with the more angst-filled story, mostly because I prefer writing dramatically rather than writing fluff. On another note, I am interested in finding a beta. So, if you would be willing to do that, it would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading!**


	13. Guilt

Disclaimer: Don't own any recognizable characters from Twilight.

* * *

Jasper's POV:

There was no escaping the guilt. It radiated from every member of my family, my precious, loving family. It came from Esme, sweet, kind Esme. It came from Carlisle. It came from Emmett. Even Rosalie. My darling Alice was afflicted with the crushing guilt each of us suffered. It came from Edward; he had become the embodiment of grief, rue, and sorrow. And I, a supposedly _gifted _vampire with the abilities of an empath, did nothing. Could do nothing. Nothing would ease the pain. Nothing would stop the flow of sorrow. Nothing could erase the guilt. No distractions could draw away the guilt. My _gift _was nothing. It would do nothing. Nothing but make me feel the pain, the sorrow, the guilt.

As I looked around the room, a new emotion was seeping into the room. Surprise. Belief. Trust. Hope.

It was as if a weight was being taken from my shoulders. The negative feelings were becoming increasingly easier to bear, as if the optimism helped me gain the strength I desperately needed. Subtly, using my gift, I increased these new feelings. This new hope. The mood in the air became lighter. The feelings of hopelessness began to abate. I sighed and drew Alice into my arms. Immediately, Alice began to radiate a different emotion: love. I kissed the top of her head, smiling into her hair.

We had moved into the living room. I sat on the couch. Alice quickly sat at my side.

"We have to start somewhere," Emmett said, settling Rosalie onto his lap.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed, nodding his head. "We must start somewhere."

"So we should just pick a town at random?" Alice asked. My eyes widened at her question. _At random._

I chuckled slightly under my breath. Alice turned to look at me, a question in her eyes.

"Not at random," I said, smiling. Alice's mouth, her beautiful mouth, opened in an "O" shape.

"But I can't see Bella in my visions!" Alice protested.

"Exactly," Carlisle said, smiling.

"What-"

"Alice, you can predict the future. You can see which towns Bella will not be in," I began to explain.

Alice frowned. "But I can't see Bella in my visions. How am I supposed to know if-"

"If you can't see Bella-"

Alice laughed. "Assuming our futures disappear with Bella's, the town that I am not able to see our futures in will be the town where Bella is!"

"Exactly," Carlisle repeated.

"Do you have a list of possible towns and cities Bella might be in?" Alice asked, her words rushing together in her eagerness.

Carlisle laughed, a true, real laugh, and nodded. He stood and said, "Follow me."

Alice grinned and happily complied.

Esme smiled, her eyes laughing. I focused on Esme's emotions to find her happy and full of hope. I smiled. It was not unlike my emotions.

Perhaps when we found Bella, I could apologize. I could apologize for wanting to drink her blood. I could apologize for almost attacking her on her birthday. I could apologize for allowing my family to leave with one of its members missing. I could apologize for so many things.

In an instant, I felt the emotions in the room plummet. Edward.

"It's not going to work," Edward said, his tone emotionless.

Though Edward hid his emotions from the rest of our family, he could not hide his true feelings from me. I almost cried out at the mix of emotions he was emitting. There was sadness, and loss, and pain, and despair, and guilt, and desperation. But no hope. No optimism. No happiness. Just pain.

"It will," Esme said quietly, her voice trembling with hope. She had to hope. It was all she had left. The only chance for her daughter. Hope.

"It can't." Edward's face was blank. His voice betrayed nothing. "It won't."

I felt Esme's hope wane. Edward's sadness was quickly spreading. As if it were a disease.

"Edward," I warned.

"It-"

"Just shut the hell up," Rosalie said darkly, glaring at Edward. I turned to her in surprise. "Just shut up. This is our chance. This is our one chance. This is our one chance at a whole, complete family. This is our one chance to get rid of this awful misery that settled itself on our house. This is our one chance to get you back. You've turned into something that I don't even recognize. I've known you almost as long as Carlisle and Esme have, and I don't recognize you. This is our one chance. Don't ruin that."

Rosalie's emotions were a mix of anger, frustration, and hope. She was being sincere. She was being Rosalie.

"It can't possibly work because _she _is dead," Edward said emotionlessly, as if Rosalie had never spoken. "She is gone. She's not coming back. She's gone. Don't raise your hopes."

Rosalie glared at Edward, a low growl in her throat. Edward said nothing. He simply returned to his bedroom.

"Stubborn moron," Rosalie muttered.

"Well I think we're going to find her," Emmett said reassuringly, holding his wife closer. He emitted love, and hope, and doubt. He wanted to believe, but he couldn't. Bella's death had shaken Emmett deeply. It had taken him a long time to convince himself that she was truly gone. And now she was back? It was understandable that he would have some trouble grasping such a turn of events.

We sat there, in the living room. It was an anxious silence. Each one of us was nervous and excited to hear Alice's prediction, or rather lack of one. Eventually, Carlisle and Alice returned.

"She's in Forks," Alice said, beaming. She looked radiant. As always.

I went immediately to her side. "Forks," I repeated.

"Forks," Carlisle said in a satisfied tone. "I've ordered the plane tickets. We'll be there in a few hours."

"How will we convince Edward to come?" Esme asked, standing close to her husband.

"I'll go and talk to him," Alice said, her mouth set in a determined line. She immediately marched into Edward's room. I followed close behind, a hand on her slim waist.

"Edward, we are going to Forks," Alice proclaimed, entering the room.

Edward said nothing. Instead, he stared blankly at the wall in front of him. He was as still as a statue.

"Bella's in Forks," Alice said, trying to prod Edward from his immobile state. "Your one true love is practically in your arms."

Edward said nothing.

Alice sighed, but continued. "All you have to do is board a plane. We'll find her. And you can be the first to see her, Edward. If that's what you want. You can be the first to embrace her, to hold her, to see her, to convince yourself that she is truly alive."

Edward said nothing.

"She's so close. All you need to do is come with me. You're so close," Alice pleaded.

Edward said nothing.

"The point is, what do you have to lose?" Alice asked.

"There is no point!" Edward roared. Alice shrank back into my arms at his outburst. "There is no point to living, because _she _is dead! There is no point to breathing, knowing I will never smell her sweet scent again. There is no point to opening my eyes, for I will never see her again. She is dead! There is no point! There is no point in searching for an angel. She's gone."

"You are a stubborn fool," I said quietly, holding Alice gently in my arms. "We all saw her. She is alive. She is out there. She is in Forks. She is real. Come with us."

"I will not chase after-"

"A dream? A hallucination? A figment of your imagination?" Alice mocked him. "She's _real_, Edward. Come with us. We'll show you. She's real."

"She is not real," Edward muttered.

He was feeling a new emotion. Doubt. He was obviously reading both our minds. He was seeing the sincerity of our belief. And he was shaken. He was shaken and confused. Logic was, no doubt, telling him that Bella could not possibly be alive, yet his heart was telling him otherwise. Doubt.

"Edward, trust me. She is alive and we can take you to her," I said gently.

I felt Edward's internal struggle. He was battling hope, trying to outweigh optimism, wishing he could choose cynicism. But he could not. He could not give up his love. Not again. He could not.

I smiled. "You have made the right decision. I know that you will not regret it."

Edward exhaled loudly. "I _hope_." The last word came out strangled.

* * *

Our family stood before a modest, yet large house. Alice had narrowed Bella's location to this home. Edward's emotions were not apparent from his facial expressions. Yet he couldn't hide his true feelings from me. He felt doubt, and frustration, and the tiniest sliver of hope, longing, love.

Alice quickly strode up to the door and knocked briskly.

Seconds later, a girl with pale skin and auburn hair opened the door. The girl that had been accompanying Bella. I felt frustration and anger roll off her smoothly. Her topaz eyes rose and she gasped as she looked at Edward. Her emotions suddenly changed, now surprised and furious. Her gaze turned hostile.

"You," she said accusingly. She quickly stepped out of the house, closing the door behind her. "Are you Edward Cullen?"

"Yes." Edward's voice was emotionless. His face revealed nothing.

Faster than a human eye could see, the girl leaped at Edward, snarling with rage. Emmett quickly tore the girl from our brother.

"It's _you_!" the girl shouted angrilly, glaring at Edward. "_You're _to blame! I should have realized it sooner."

"To blame for what?" Emmett asked, confused as the rest of us were. Emmett unconciously loosened his hold on the girl, and she tore herself out of his arms, snarling.

"Why don't you see for yourself, you fucking mind-reader," the girl shouted. She closed her eyes. Her emotions changed suddenly from rage to extrodinary sadness.

Edward gasped and collapsed to the ground. His emotions were overwhelming. I gripped Alice's hand tightly.

Overpowering depression.

Fierce sadness.

Horrible desperation.

Pure love.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I love these author's notes. I really do. They give me such a great opprotunity to express what I was trying to get at when I wrote each chapter, because a lot of the time, there are some things that need explaining. This chapter, there were a few things that I felt needed clearing up. For example, Alice can't see Bella in her visions because Isa is debating wether or not to, to put it bluntly, kill Bella. This may come up in a later chapter in Isa's point of view, but to clear up confusion, I'll tell you lovely readers now. Also, Alice and Jasper's theory of their future's disappearing along with Bella's may be a bit flawed, but it really was the best I could come up with. I think the next chapter will be in Edward's point of view, so the images Annabel showed Edward will be revealed soon. **

**Thanks for reading!**


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